Sexism in sex

Like in most so called male domains, the assumption of power and priority in the natural act of sex also safely lies with men. This masculinity further stimulates chauvinism. How it becomes normative behaviour and everyone simply asked to follow it. If men were ever to relinquish control to women in sex, that would seem like an unfathomable offense. Of women’s sexual desires getting vocal and brutal honesty ceasing to be the legacy of only men.

Sometimes pure act of sex can be self reliant and pleasurable without being an act of emotional security. And so without prejudice could be anyone’s prerogative, not reserved for men!

 

Desire to relive

The novel relationship forms the basis of seeking a new partner. In the quest for newness you blindly follow the trail just to get far away from people and things that once started new with you. Ironical as it may be to want to want new things for an old self. Call it renewed vigour of a new kind prepared to go far beyond the conventional morality, that which is already¬† misplaced once, only to find yourself trapped in postconventional morality. Where a person develops one’s own set of ethical values applicable only to oneself and based on non conventional wisdom.

It’s not the new found love, it’s not the fatal attraction, it’s not the superiority of the new over the old, it’s the sheer desire to disrupt normal and routine only to relive the dark side.

It’s a broken relationship

But a rendezvous with strength. Grief might be similar to what you feel if anything that you love deeply, breaks. It’s the fissure that makes the hard cracking sound, leaving you alone to assess the damage. You can forget what they said or did but what you can’t forget is how they made you feel. Not to say it wasn’t meant to be but that it wasn’t meant for me. Sometimes the liability of non performance is limited to the emotions invested but in few others the collateral damage is far from being secured.

Is it the interdependence and feeding off each other the fragile emotion or the onslaught of change that takes more time for repair?

It’s not about you…

It’s a small, sharp sentence but it cuts deep. As one grows, the life choices and actions cover few beyond oneself. Can get boring, also bitter but essential to be covered in the same expression. Family carries with it the fear of living in the shell of ordinariness and foregoing personal glory and the hope of facing a fresh challenge to illuminate your existence. In this arena of emotions, fear and hope wrestle to determine what comes next while pride watches silently.

If feeling magnificent lays the ground rules, then how can a spectacular process of childbirth take that away from you!

I can live without you

But that’s the last thing I want to do. This makes you want to want your partner and not, need him. And if you don’t need your partner then it frees you up to want him. The idea that you need someone or that someone makes you a whole person, is incredibly misplaced. It’s you two together that can rule an empire with legacy as your only child. That’s when the vows you take cannot be described as fear flirting with vulnerability. And the wedding ring as a badge of shame honoured for being needy.

Then what more can you desire if that’s the choice you made and you wanted it anyway!

Beauty and the Beast

From ideals passed on through the generations to bold and coquettish inventions, beauty is a language that is constantly evolving. It includes the traditional and disruptive, cliched and orgasmic. It’s just the acceptance of the fact that we’re not consistent in our ideas about beauty and it’s pursuit. The problems begin when beauty takes on narrow definitions and we begin grooming ourselves to primarily please those we encounter. That is the Beast that begins to take over the beauty that lies in You, the beauty that makes You and the Beauty You believe in. And the different layers between who we are, what we present and how we process feedback wages a war with the Beast.

Even in this world of grooming, a little less judgement and little more compassion is what makes it beautiful!

Does happiness really depend on self illusion?

Happiness is perhaps synchronizing one’s personal delusions of meaning with the prevailing collective illusions. As long as your personal narrative is in line with the narratives of the people around you, it’s convincing to believe that life is meaningful and happiness sought in that conviction. If happiness is based on the feeling that life is meaningful, then in order to be happier one needs to delude himself more effectively. And that delusion cannot not make its way through pleasure: that which can be easily seduced by Satan. Only to make believe that a sense of high is pleasure and any meaning that one ascribes to their lives is just a delusion that enshrouds in complete and meaningless oblivion!